then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize