Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish i was in the wii world.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
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It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
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BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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