I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
