we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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