if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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