now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
