You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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