i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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