if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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