I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
