absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize