i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
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You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
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There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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