i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
