laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
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Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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