I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
