Moan for me like Helen Keller
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
