he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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