I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
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