Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
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Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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