I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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