i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
