Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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