Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
