We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
