Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
