escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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