Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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