He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
