Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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