That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
