is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
