There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
