dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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