I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
