Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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