There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
