There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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