sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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