you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
