My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he just fucked me for my cheese..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
