Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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