thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize