And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
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You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
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I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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