Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
