Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
