Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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