I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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