He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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