I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize