somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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