I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize