Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
