i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
