if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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